Most people in the U.S. are aware that this Sunday May 10 is Mother’s Day and most people are still in a quandary as to what to give their mother. Every year we hear people saying they just do not know what to “buy” their mother. Well, we strongly believe there is one gift that is unique and heartfelt. We posted our thoughts about it on February 5 of this year so that those in the U.K. could benefit since they celebrate Mother’s Day in early March. Below is a repeat of that post.
And by the way…Feliz Cinco de Mayo!
WHO IS YOUR MOTHER?
Mother’s Day is approaching though it takes place at different times in different countries. For those living in the UK it is in March; for those in the US it comes in May. Still it is not too soon to be thinking about this special day for mothers and we asked ourselves how might Mother’s Day this year be different for those whose children – young or old – choose to make it so? What will help women who want to make changes get into action and make them? We start by asking a very straightforward question:
Have you recently taken a careful, non-judgmental look at your mother? If not, we invite you to do so. As you prepare to look at your mother, we want you to take off the ‘spectacles’ you have been wearing every time you see her. The spectacles represent your particular perspective of your mother—although true for you—it is not necessarily the full truth of who she. By removing them you will be able to see her more fully as the woman she truly is.
She cannot cease to be your mother, but we know there is more of her for you to see – of the person she is and the potential she has. There is always untapped potential – even in the most ancient of us. Perhaps you have a mother who sacrificed something in order to have you?
Most parents believe they give up a lot of money power in order to have kids, yet this is not where we are pointing you right now.
Many mothers give up a career, reject opportunities to travel, even deny their innate talents in order to take up what is probably the most honorable occupation of all. Then, when she is no longer needed as the chief care-giver, what happens? The children have grown and left the family home, how does she move into the next phase of her life. A phase that reflects who she is, that helps her follow and fulfill any dreams she may have.
Does your mother have a stated or implied belief that what she gave up is now firmly in the past? That it is way too late and that this is the price you have to pay when you have kids? Yet you know she continues to live with her yearnings or dreams.
So we ask you to look beyond the emerging evidence of age, beyond the woman who brought you into the world and who cared for you in your needy years; beyond the woman you may even consider as your best friend. You have a lot to offer your mother. And we ask you to ponder, what is the best gift you could give her on Mother’s Day so that she can give herself permission – even face the fear – of doing or being what she believes has been lost for ever?
When asking you to think about your Mother’s Day gift, we are not necessarily meaning material things. This is why we are asking you to take this non-judgmental look at your mother. Notice your own judgments. Are thoughts entering your head such as ‘Mother would never do that now’ or ‘If Mom does that what about our baby-sitting routine’ – or indeed any other similar thoughts that are either about you or your views about your mother? If so, then you are sitting in judgment and we ask that you fully let go of such thoughts. See her truly as the woman she is at her core. That core or essence may be very near the surface, or it may have been pushed deep down with the passing of the years. Wherever it is, it is still there.
If your mother is to find a way to allow herself to tap into that potential that has been hidden for years, then she will need unmitigated support. Are you prepared to give a Mother’s Day gift of discomfort or inconvenience to yourself so that your mother can step out into new realms?
Ask yourself as you look at your mother ‘What is the gift of words I could offer that will make this Mother’s Day a springboard to new adventures for my mother?’
Yes, you can leave behind the ‘thanks for being a great Mother’ and find something different to offer. It may take a little time and careful thought but this sort of Mother’s Day present is much longer lasting and is far more heartfelt.